All weekend long I've been stuck in my room studying for 5 finals that I have on Monday and Tuesday. I was reading an old journal from the beginning of my senior year last year, and I realized how much I've grown since then- spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. In that journal entry I talked about how fast the summer had flown by... then I realized something
- this semester has flown by as well. I know so many times I take things for granite that God has blessed me with, and that's something that I've had to learn this semester.
Since August when I moved in, God has taken me through trial after trial for reasons that I will never understand, but I've begun to realize something. The more I seemed to not understand, the more I began seeking God about every situation. It was never easy for me because I like to plan things out myself and be in control, BUT I had to realize that I am not... I can not be in control of some things, and those things I have to give to God to control. I get so frustrated with myself at times because I feel like my plans are perfect and everything will work out perfectly the way I plan it to, but it's not up to me.
In Beth Moore's book, BREAKING FREE, she refers to Phil. 4:6-7 which says, "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." She goes on to say a statement that I LOVE- "Without a doubt, avoiding prayer is a sure prescription for anxiety, a certain way to avoid peace. Satan knows prayerless lives are powerless lives, while prayerful lives are powerful lives." That statement is so true, and God has brought me to a point this semester that I've had to literally fall on my knees before His throne giving up everything to Him, because I realized I couldn't do it on my own. Beth also says "the better we know God, the more we trust Him. The more we trust Him, the more we sense His peace brings when the wintry winds blow against us." That really spoke to me as I thought back on it when things weren't so easy for me. Another quote that spoke to me was "God wants to do in our lives what our minds have never conceived." So for me, I had to realize that God really does have my best intentions in mind- He knows exactly what's going to happen, how everything in my life is going to work out, and I have to be faithful in allowing Him to do so. I can't be so self-centered that I miss what God is wanting to do, and it's more than I EVER imagined. What a neat promise!
One more thing I found that was very encouraging: it's a checklist from the book as well that challenged my thoughts behind each action.
1. Is my most important consideration in every undertaking whether or not God could be glorified? (1 Cor. 10:31)
2. Do I desire God's glory or my own? (John 8:50, 54)
3. In my service to others, is my sincere hope that they will somehow see God in me? (1 Peter 4:10-11)
*4. When I am going through hardships, do I turn to God and try to cooperate with Him so He can use them for my good and for His glory? (1 Peter 4:12-13)
5. Am I sometimes able to accomplish things or withstand things only through the power of God? (2 Cor. 4:7)
My prayer is that God is working in each of your lives, and teaching you as much as He's teaching me. Dive into the Word daily, talk to Him, LISTEN... don't always do the talking, and He will reveal Himself to you. Praying for you...
