Let Them See You In Me... Let Them Hear You When I Speak

     Lately life has been crazier than crazier. I have been student teaching full time at Sarah Cobb Elementary School in Sumter County. My routine looks something like this- 5:00 am get up, leave at 5:45, get to school at 6:30, get things ready for my students at 7:00, school from 7:00-2:15, 2:15-4:30/5:00 work on school work for the next day and week. Get home around 5:15-5:45 depending on the day. Then try to get something ready for supper, take a shower, pack lunches, get ready for tomorrow, and try to be in bed by 11:00. Then time to start all over again the next day! Phew.... I know, I am exhausted to say the least!
    About 3 or 4 months ago I found out that I was going to be at Sarah Cobb, and that I was going to have to drive a total of an hour and a half every single day. I got placed out of county in a 4th grade classroom, and was not happy about it. I fought and fought for months about it, until I finally hit a brick wall and realized I was stuck with my placement in Sumter County. I prayed about it, and asked the Lord to change my attitude because I was not happy.
    My schedule for teaching was this- observe the first 2 weeks, pick up small jobs week 3, pick up small jobs and 1 subject week 4, pick up small jobs week 5, 2 subjects, and pick up small jobs and all subjects weeks 6-10. I had to teach full time for 5 weeks all day long. Yesterday was my last day teaching full time for 5 weeks! Wow!  Not only has the time flown by, but the Lord has continued to teach me lessons I never thought I would be learning.
    Now, my students are not the students that I am used to teaching. My students come from very broken homes, unstable families, bad behavior- nothing like what I was used to. I have had to break up fights in my classroom (mind you, these students are in 4th grade and are now at the same size I am), had students almost cuss me out, and had to suspend 5 of my students. This is a daily thing for me now- I am always ready in case something like this to happens. It has been an interesting journey so far to say the least.
    Yes I have students who are disrespectful and rude, who always want to start fights with someone else, some students who try to get on my last nerve, and students who want to be anywhere else but in my room at time- BUT I have watched my students grow since the first week of school. I have literally watched some walls be torn down, and I have developed relationships with my students that I never thought would happen. I love my students, and I tell them on a daily basis. They know that Mrs. McLeod loves them to death! They have become less defensive and rude, and I have watched them start to respect me over time.
     Last week at parent teacher conferences I had a parent tell me she found 3 suicide notes in her son's room that week. When she asked him why he didn't do it he said, "Because God told me today wasn't the day." My jaw dropped. He was bullied and school, and never told me. He hasn't seen his dad in 7 years because he is in jail for trying to kill the mom in front of him. He has a hard time reading, and he doesn't think he is good at anything. He is 10 years old- 10! And the mom is wondering why her son is failing in school. Hello, I can tell you why! As soon as she said that my eyes filled with tears and I just prayed- "God show me what to do. Tell me what I can do to help. I can't sit back and do nothing." I called the little boy over to come see me at my desk, and I had an awesome talk with him. He and I came up with a plan- he and I would meet with the school counselor and I would help him with all the other issues like the bullying and reading. He agreed to stay with me during block time to get some extra help with school work and reading. Here I am, eleven weeks into my student teaching experience and God just throws this opportunity into my lap.
    I know that when I prayed at the beginning for God to take me out of this county and it didn't happen, that there was a big reason why. It took eleven weeks for me to see, but now I see it. My students have started respecting me, never wanting to go to block because they want to be with me- some students not even wanting to leave in the afternoons because they want to be with me. I never thought I would love a group of students this much. We had Honors Day yesterday, and two of my students had speaking parts in the program. When our class was given awards, I teared up watching their faces light up because they earned something themselves! They have been working so hard this semester with me, and I couldn't be more proud. There have definitely been some ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world!
     When I knew I was stuck at this school and I couldn't change, I asked God to change my attitude and perspective. He did! Do I hate getting up so early, and am I exhausted? You better believe it! But Jason has been so encouraging to me and so supportive on those super long days when I literally can't walk in the door I'm so tired. I am grateful that the Lord has allowed me to serve my students and the faculty at Sarah Cobb this semester.
     Now, my time is not over at school. I am teaching part time now in the afternoons, but my goal is now that I have less to plan for lessons, I can invest that time into spending with my students to get to know them better and see how I can meet some of their needs (physically and emotionally).


Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful group of kids who I have fallen in love with! I am so grateful for the opportunity to love on these kids- some who don't even have a family and have never known what love is. Some of my kids don't get any hugs besides mine and not other meals except from school. Thank you for a heart to serve and love the ones who some people would overlook. Keep my eyes focused on the cross, give me a heart like yours to love the least of these, and refresh my attitude as I finish so I can finish strong! Allow them to see you through me as I have literally prayed every single morning before I start my day.



As I sit here and think over my new blog, which is very personal and dear to my heart, I am reminded of this song by a friend of mine.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOg-1JjAdGk


Let this be my prayer as I finish strong. Help me never to forget what I have learned.


Deuteronomy 4:9
"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."


Matthew 5:16
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."